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Slimmers Review
Friday, 21 October 2005
Slimmers World Great Bodies 2005
Mood:  irritated
Well, the time has come for Slimmers World Great Bodies 2005.

First of all, who cares? As an immediate side note, I must say congratulations to a former Slimmers World female member who recently won the Men's Health P150,000 Challenge. Her victory is a true slap in the face to Ms. Camacho of Slimmers World. When I say former Slimmers World member, I mean a member who is technically a lifetime member but has renounced her membership and has neither built her perfect physique at Slimmers, nor will she say anything other than the fact that the pathetic shape of Slimmers World facilities held her back in her progress when she used to train there.

The funniest thing is that they practically begged her to join Great Bodies 2005. Fat chance losers...while she would have probably won, she won't lower herself to the levels of desperation of the other candidates, of which few (if any) actually work out at Slimmers World gyms. Some train at Gold's (which pretty much sucks these days too) and others at smaller bodybuilding gyms.

So I say this...your candidates are typical of a Slimmers World competition. Many of the women are bloated on low-grade steroids (check their deep, masculine voices and lack of feminine hips) and the men are...well...I don't know most of them so my opinion will remain in check. Half of one of those little pink tablets does indeed cause side effects ladies, no matter what your stupid trainer tells you.

If this years show is an attempt to save your Adriatico branch from closure, there won't be much of a chance of that. Fitness First (another shitty gym) is on one side of you, and now Eclipse 24/7 (easily the best club in the country since I know what the owner spent on it and I know his strength coaches), you're finished.

Time for Mr. Moy to take up fishing in Australia. Even your main target of overweight housewives realize that Slimmers World is the epitomy of irony. I've seen the same people for the past two years at the various branches...most have gained weight.

To the Slimmers World Great Bodies 2005 candidates, get out while you still have your self respect. If you think you have a chance to win (deservingly), you'll be sorry. Ms. Camacho has your fate in her chubby hand. Join FAME or something else...there will be many more opportunities than this elusive P100,000 prize. How many sponsors do they have this year anyway? Is there anyone (a class-act athlete at least) who even cares about this stupid contest anymore? I told someone who I actually respect to drop...to get out now while she still has some self-respect. But she didn't get it. Maybe she'll get it when the company loses half of their branches to real, result-producing gyms in the future.

Hey Slimmers...did you know that if you run past 5 kph on your treadmills, those cheesy LCD monitors (on a small number of your units) will short out in 3 months? Maybe you should make sure everyone walks....

Idiots.

Posted by slimmersreview at 3:51 PM EDT
Updated: Saturday, 22 October 2005 4:31 PM EDT
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